Processing >>productivity<<

I have not been very >>productive<< these past few months. Why write >>productive<< like that? Because I feel like I shouldn’t have to be. But I also feel a great pressure to be. To produce. To create. To “do my job.” Whether it’s my actual job, the thing that keeps a roof over my head, keeps me and my kids fed, keeps the power on, etc., or it’s my art — that I have to resist putting in quotes as “art” because I feel like it’s not legitimate. Without audience. Without money. Without cred. Without working for it.