hi, i’m nuri. this is where i’ll post things i’m working on (when i remember to) — whether its music, or musings, or fiction, or video, or live events, or whatever comes next. if you want to follow along, it’s free, or you can choose to pay. you don’t get anything extra if you pay, but you help support me to keep doing the things, and i appreciate it. 💕
To sign up, click on a blog post below (without the “Preview” label) and when paywalled, click “Join Now” and select one of four plans, from Free to $15/month.
Recent posts
a vlog because other formats are daunting rn
the more humane option
i’m icked out and stressed out and sick of not being able to get my proper medication. i feel overwhelmed by how many words it would take to describe how i’m feeling right now — sorry, just got interrupted
trying to get the brain gunk out
i never did get around to writing the thing(s) i wanted to work on yesterday. i thought i might try to work on it now, but i can’t. my brain’s too tired. or something.
maybe i’ll actually write something now.
i haven’t been writing much lately. i keep wanting to. i have a series of reminders i’ve set for myself to work on a children’s story, a speculative story about liberation, a space opera i started and abandoned, a time travel romance.
dance with me
there’s been a lot going on.
fighting the tide with teacups
you know… i had meant to do a whole blog recapping the show and the trip out to the buttonwood tree last week — but that’s not where i am right now, and it feels somehow too much the antithesis of the point of this blog.
i broke my toe
the title is pretty self-explanatory, i think.
secrets and escapes
i have a very busy day ahead of me.
seeing rainbows, seeing stars
i played my show.
maybe when i have a bit more free time i’ll share some clips.
i recorded the whole thing, but my head and chest were cut off.
oof busy
oof, it’s been a minute since i’ve posted.
it’s been a busy time.
i need to do some updating
this is (one of the things) what’s gotten me stuck in the past. i published this site and i already feel like i need to make changes. my, for lack of a better work, “practice” is not necessarily what i thought it would be, and i can see it shifting.
i feel like i should go with that flow, but also without letting go of the things that give me joy.
another queer art party
fresh off the heels of completing another queer art party, i feel gratitude this morning. for community. for connection. for my liberty, at this moment, to commit myself to this work.
I woke up this morning, gently, to the sound of rain and the smell of petrichor, a gentle breeze blowing over my bare skin, and it felt like a gift from Mother Nature, Mother Earth, from the wind, from whichever, any and all aspects of the Divine.
looky here
so, while i haven’t completely abandoned my patreon, i am actively working on moving all of my new posts here to my brand-new website (that just cleaned out my checking account, yay!) but — there’s a lot of content on patreon to move, so it will take me a while to get it all over here.
show(s) (and other stuff) coming
i'm playing a show on june 1. (if you're the facebook type, here's the link there).
the last time i played out was december 2015 — it was a "holiday" concert, a benefit, and we played one song. i don't even remember it. i don't think i have a recording of it anywhere.
maybe moving from patreon? odd thing to post on patreon.
well, last night's anxiety post sure was fun, huh?
i'm not gonna go back down that rabbithole, but just say that it's (hopefully? i think?) being dealt with.
every time i open this lately, or share something from here, i feel more and more like patreon is not the right platform.
fucking taxes
i haven't had the energy to / prioritized posting here lately (i feel like i say this a lot) .
i'm sitting with my anxiety tonight. i know if i go to bed now, i will lie awake and stare at the ceiling with my thoughts spinning from subject to subject.
booking is fun (not really at all, i hate it)
as i've mentioned in previous posts, i haven't performed publicly in some time.
the last time was for a holiday benefit show in 2015 (we use the euphemism "holiday" to refer to the dominant Christian "holiday season" — but it was really a Christmas concert). we played one song. written expressly for the "holidays."
whoops
i meant to share my last post today. that is, i was trying to be good to future me and schedule something ahead so i wouldn't have to think of it — in the hopes that i could keep staying ahead of it so i don't wind up with big gaps like recently (to be fair to me, seemingly losing my entire audience was a bit demotivating, but also, this isn't about audience so — whatevs), but then i hit the wrong button and published it immediately.
the abandoned (ish) uke project
i have a performance coming up.
i don't have a link to share with details yet, but i will certainly post here when i do.
this will be my first time performing in public —in real life — in nearly nine years.
more on marai (finally), part 5
hiya! now that i have zero paid subscribers, i have even less idea who's been visiting and reading this blog / process / shitshow. over the weekend i was thinking how i really would like to get back to this story, so i figured i'd continue sharing it in the hopes it would spur me to keep going. if you want to see the whole thing i've shared so far, you can visit this collection.