hi, i’m nuri. this is where i’ll post things i’m working on (when i remember to) — whether its music, or musings, or fiction, or video, or live events, or whatever comes next. if you want to follow along, it’s free, or you can choose to pay. you don’t get anything extra if you pay, but you help support me to keep doing the things, and i appreciate it. 💕

To sign up, click on a blog post below (without the “Preview” label) and when paywalled, click “Join Now” and select one of four plans, from Free to $15/month.

with the bucket under me

i missed another month. sorry (not sorry 🤣😖)

in my “day job” (i call it that even though i a. don’t have a regular salary still and b. i do my best work early in the morning before the sun has even come up — and it’s so hard to catch those hours in the summertime) i’ve had a **very** stressful few months.

nuri 5/31/25 nuri 5/31/25

bad at process

i’m bad at writing about my process.

part of why i started journaling about this stuff was to finally get over it.

i may have talked about this previously — but process journals is something i have weirdly a lot of feelings about.

nuri 5/19/25 nuri 5/19/25

ugh pls no gross

i’m so used to writing just being part of my job.

i don’t even really think about it anymore.

just whatever word salad comes to mind makes it to the page, if my fingers are fast enough and i don’t get distracted by something else, some other thought, something shiny, a rumble in my belly, all the feeling around that.

nuri 1/30/25 nuri 1/30/25

Preview

miranda comes to life

i’m so excited, y’all.

the world is on fire, i’m making no money, i can’t pay my bills, the prospect of my becoming stateless is feeling more real than ever before in my life.

but i’m fuckin’ fired up.

nuri 5/20/24 nuri 5/20/24

oof busy

oof, it’s been a minute since i’ve posted.

it’s been a busy time.

nuri 5/10/24 nuri 5/10/24

i need to do some updating

this is (one of the things) what’s gotten me stuck in the past. i published this site and i already feel like i need to make changes. my, for lack of a better work, “practice” is not necessarily what i thought it would be, and i can see it shifting.

i feel like i should go with that flow, but also without letting go of the things that give me joy.

nuri 5/5/24 nuri 5/5/24

another queer art party

fresh off the heels of completing another queer art party, i feel gratitude this morning. for community. for connection. for my liberty, at this moment, to commit myself to this work.

I woke up this morning, gently, to the sound of rain and the smell of petrichor, a gentle breeze blowing over my bare skin, and it felt like a gift from Mother Nature, Mother Earth, from the wind, from whichever, any and all aspects of the Divine.

nuri 5/3/24 nuri 5/3/24

looky here

so, while i haven’t completely abandoned my patreon, i am actively working on moving all of my new posts here to my brand-new website (that just cleaned out my checking account, yay!) but — there’s a lot of content on patreon to move, so it will take me a while to get it all over here.

nuri 4/15/24 nuri 4/15/24

maybe moving from patreon? odd thing to post on patreon.

well, last night's anxiety post sure was fun, huh?

i'm not gonna go back down that rabbithole, but just say that it's (hopefully? i think?) being dealt with.

every time i open this lately, or share something from here, i feel more and more like patreon is not the right platform.

nuri 4/14/24 nuri 4/14/24

fucking taxes

i haven't had the energy to / prioritized posting here lately (i feel like i say this a lot) .

i'm sitting with my anxiety tonight. i know if i go to bed now, i will lie awake and stare at the ceiling with my thoughts spinning from subject to subject.

nuri 4/6/24 nuri 4/6/24

booking is fun (not really at all, i hate it)

as i've mentioned in previous posts, i haven't performed publicly in some time.

the last time was for a holiday benefit show in 2015 (we use the euphemism "holiday" to refer to the dominant Christian "holiday season" — but it was really a Christmas concert). we played one song. written expressly for the "holidays."

nuri 4/2/24 nuri 4/2/24

whoops

i meant to share my last post today. that is, i was trying to be good to future me and schedule something ahead so i wouldn't have to think of it — in the hopes that i could keep staying ahead of it so i don't wind up with big gaps like recently (to be fair to me, seemingly losing my entire audience was a bit demotivating, but also, this isn't about audience so — whatevs), but then i hit the wrong button and published it immediately.

nuri 4/1/24 nuri 4/1/24

the abandoned (ish) uke project

i have a performance coming up.

i don't have a link to share with details yet, but i will certainly post here when i do.

this will be my first time performing in public —in real life — in nearly nine years.

nuri 3/28/24 nuri 3/28/24

i was gold

I decided to type this on my phone because reasons, and I was gonna make the title "I was good," but I kind of liked the weird autocorrect.

Maybe that will lead somewhere, maybe not.

But I *was* good. I practiced. I added on to a song snippet so I may even have some new new material for the first show I've played in nearly a decade.

nuri 3/27/24 nuri 3/27/24

today was a lot. it’s been a lot a lot

today was a lot. it’s been a lot a lot lately. today i had to (as usual on a workday) get my kids up and ready for school, and out the door (juuuust) in time for the bus. i had a staff meeting, and then a doctor’s appointment — i forgot to eat.

nuri 3/25/24 nuri 3/25/24

spring springy spring

i've definitely been less religious (pardon the term) about posting in here lately.

for one thing, i got very busy with work stuff. we had our big spring concert this past weekend, and that's honestly something i'd rather not talk about right now.

nuri 3/16/24 nuri 3/16/24

been a minute

it's been a minute since i posted here. sorry? (aside: i'm remembering the first time i heard the expression "been a minute" and i was so deeply confused when the person said it cuz i was like "it's been months, what *are* you talking about?!")

nuri 3/8/24 nuri 3/8/24

unworthy

I was planning on writing earlier today. I had the urge. As soon as i got it, i saw some things that triggered deep feelings of unworthiness. Like, everyone else writes, and puts more effort into it, more craft, more time, and is more deserving — and why do i bother, what do i have that’s worth saying. I’m just a trash person with trash opinions.

nuri 3/1/24 nuri 3/1/24

liberation now

I’m probably not the first to say this, and i don’t claim this as original thought, but: to realize a liberated future, we must live a liberated now.

There is a fair amount of privilege behind even being able to conceive of such a thing, and, for survival’s sake, our ability to hew to this mantra varies wildly from individual to individual.

nuri 2/20/24 nuri 2/20/24

i started writing a thing today

i started writing a thing today. it's largely autobiographical, it seems. at least so far. i don't know if i'm going to finish it, but it started from my spinning thoughts as i was going to sleep last night. i had this urge to try to explain all the places i'm coming from. all the things i've experienced that led me to where i am now, what i believe now, what i'm working for now.

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