hi, i’m nuri. this is where i’ll post things i’m working on (when i remember to) — whether its music, or musings, or fiction, or video, or live events, or whatever comes next. if you want to follow along, it’s free, or you can choose to pay. you don’t get anything extra if you pay, but you help support me to keep doing the things, and i appreciate it. 💕
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Recent posts
someone else's song
i've been trying to listen to more albums the past couple of days (which is ironic, since i haven't even tried to produce / release an album since i started releasing music on streaming services in 2021). of course, the "album" i chose to listen to that prompted this post was a split EP featuring Apes of the State and Sister Wife Sex Strike (because i really needed some trans, anarchist, folk punk to listen to).
i've got a meeting in eight minutes
i've got a meeting in eight minutes. i've been going since about 7am. a bit before if you count rolling out of bed to take a shower. my kids have been on a kick of getting up early lately, which is kinda great on one level but i also enjoy being warm and cozy in bed.
revisiting marai - ok, reijishiin (or however i spelled it), part 4
There's been a little voice in the back of my head for the pst few days / week or so urging me to get back to work on this story, but also i'm not really feeling it in this moment right now, so — i'm going to share another part in the hopes that it spurs me to write about what's next. i have somewhat of an idea, and it involves (SPOILER ALERT) the main character and someone who — as of the part i'm posting below — hasn't been introduced yet, posing as serving staff on a cruise ship in order to sneak their way past immigration officials to find her daughter. then some more shit happens, i haven't really fully thought through beyond that.
i'm tired, but i'll keep going anyway
i'm tired of always striving. of having to meet other's expectations, while having no expectations of anyone else.
i feel like i'm not alone in this feeling. though it feels very isolating. i keep reading about how isolated people feel right now, and in some ways i think we all make it worse sometimes. but also there is this feeling of needing to protect ourselves.
doing the thing anyway
ok, so it's a double post day.
but also, i'm determined not to let a thing like "audience" affect my process or what i'm doing. i'm not going to give into the pervasive capitalist pressure to moderate my speech or change what i'm doing to be more commercially viable, or more popular.
if you're too fragile to deal with your internalized white supremacy, please go away
i take a stand against antisemitism and racism, and i lose community.
and if i was not immediately upfront about the antisemitism, it's because — as the target of said antisemitic behavior — i did not feel comfortable calling it out to the people committing it.
yeah ok but why
it's one thing to release a song, a playlist of inspirations, blog about the process, and all of that...
...but why? when you take away the commercial impulse to make money, to promote a product, to engage your network and all of that bullshit, what is the point of it? i understand why there is a never-ending debate among artists on whether they should share their inspirations or interpretations of their own works, because i tend to believe that art is up to the interpretation of the observer, independent of the artist's initial intent.
You'd Better Watch Yourself 😅
My new song is out now.
I'm sure you've already seen / heard 🫠
But i wanted to share, as usual (i hope?) the production / inspiration playlist for this track. In case i haven't mentioned previously, for each of my tracks i put together a playlist (of varying length) of songs that inspired it, or that were production references for the recording or mix. Spotify tends to be where i listen to music, so i make the playlists there, but if someone has a preferred platform beside that, i could maybe reproduce them elsewhere as well.
and the day came
i wrote a thing. it might be awful. it might be a really shitty take. i might someday learn to share my work without preamble, BUT NOT TODAAAAAAY! 🤪
EDIT: I wanted to add a credit and link back to a piece that inspired this, by Esther Alter, who I would like to thank for permission to credit her.
and the day came
more of marai (or whatever), part 3
i thought i had already posted something today, and then i realized i hadn't 🤣
i'm still kind of recovering from covid, so i'm not quite 100% and ready to work on new music yet, and i didn't feel inspired to work on writing today — frankly, my day job kind of took over big time today, starting right at the jump (which is saying something when you work from home).
quick update + more uke stuff
so, i've decided to skip that grant application this time around. i don't feel like i have a work that neatly fits their guidelines, and i don't want to try to shoehorn something i've got into a place where it won't fit — which is kind of a relief, because i really just want to focus on making that piece the best version of itself it can be, because it's kind of important to me.
do i / don't i?
a journal because my brain no worky so good
I’m trying to focus on a particular piece i want to write, but it’s not coming out right and i’m worried it’s feeling forced. I hate working to deadlines. It feels like another one of those things artificially placed upon us by capitalism. By fascism.
there *is* no more money
i'm not sure i can be talking explicitly about this, because there are legal proceedings, but let's jus say a VERY BIG BANK is putting the spurs to me to collect some debts. i started a debt relief program back in the fall of 2022 to try to resolve some of the crushing debts i incurred during my separation…
the "wrong" twelve hundred words
i was trying to work on finish up my expansion of "after gelderloos" (really wanna look at changing that title) today — and i wrote over twelve hundred words, but they weren't necessarily the ones i wanted to write.
between your sheets
my personal opinion: this is the best / most complete of the uke-based tracks i started on back in october... so, you know, it's all downhill from here 😅
returning to marai (part 2)
in the spirit of inspiring me to keep going, i'll post a larger chunk of this nascent novel today. if you need it, here's the link back to part 1. a reminder that *** means a break between sessions of writing, not necessarily a break between scenes.
Jewel of Marai (working title) - part 2
keep on sharing wips
i know the vox are barely audible in this one — most of these quick little uke tracks never got to the point where i felt good enough about them to sing full-throated.
best laid plans... (just do and thrive)
I mentioned in my last post that i'd been working on expanding some of my recent writing efforts, including the piece posted there, as suggested.
however — i've also been playing around with another concept that was none of the things i suggested previously 😅 (because i am nothing if not inconsistent!)
leaning in to being scatterbrained
there's been a lot more activity here lately than i had been creating before. partly, i suppose, because i feel like i need an outlet for all of the various things i'm doing, and i really am committed to staying clear of (most forms of) social media.
i think the entire nature of social media, and digital interactions in general, is dehumanizing. what i've come to call the "people-in-cars" phenomena.