hi, i’m nuri. this is where i’ll post things i’m working on (when i remember to) — whether its music, or musings, or fiction, or video, or live events, or whatever comes next. if you want to follow along, it’s free, or you can choose to pay. you don’t get anything extra if you pay, but you help support me to keep doing the things, and i appreciate it. 💕
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Recent posts
spring springy spring
i've definitely been less religious (pardon the term) about posting in here lately.
for one thing, i got very busy with work stuff. we had our big spring concert this past weekend, and that's honestly something i'd rather not talk about right now.
been a minute
it's been a minute since i posted here. sorry? (aside: i'm remembering the first time i heard the expression "been a minute" and i was so deeply confused when the person said it cuz i was like "it's been months, what *are* you talking about?!")
unworthy
I was planning on writing earlier today. I had the urge. As soon as i got it, i saw some things that triggered deep feelings of unworthiness. Like, everyone else writes, and puts more effort into it, more craft, more time, and is more deserving — and why do i bother, what do i have that’s worth saying. I’m just a trash person with trash opinions.
liberation now
I’m probably not the first to say this, and i don’t claim this as original thought, but: to realize a liberated future, we must live a liberated now.
There is a fair amount of privilege behind even being able to conceive of such a thing, and, for survival’s sake, our ability to hew to this mantra varies wildly from individual to individual.
i started writing a thing today
i started writing a thing today. it's largely autobiographical, it seems. at least so far. i don't know if i'm going to finish it, but it started from my spinning thoughts as i was going to sleep last night. i had this urge to try to explain all the places i'm coming from. all the things i've experienced that led me to where i am now, what i believe now, what i'm working for now.
getting people together
It’s again been a few days since i last posted. I haven’t made progress on the album project i was hoping to accomplish by the end of February. I did give myself the fallback of finishing it my the end of Adar II, so i suppose that actually gives me until the end of March as it is. Which is good, i could use the extra time.
documenting the mundane
I haven’t posted in a few days. I’ve been busy / didn’t have anything i really wanted to say. I did want to lean into the idea of documenting the mundane, instead of censoring myself and attempting to focus only on the things i think will be interesting to other people to hear about.
on a lighter note
due to a common typographical error of mine, i appear to have discovered a new subatomic particle…
do i have something to say?
on one level, i didn’t do much yesterday.
i didn’t leave the house.
i didn’t do laundry.
saturday morning
it’s a saturday, and i just got home. It’s about two in the afternoon, and in about two hours i’ve got to go back out again. I got up early today — my kids both got up even earlier. We showered. I fed them gluten free cinnamon roll coffee cake that i made yesterday evening for breakfast. There were no complaints.
some more boops
i see people are still visiting here. i don't know who you are, but "hi!"
for some reason keyboards / synths seem to be what's coming out recently. i don't know if any of this will turn into a final project, but i guess that's why i share the process, as messy as it is.
greensleeves revisited / the high road
i know there's almost no one watching / listening at this point, but i've never really been sharing for an audience, i suppose. this stuff is going to get shared / put out there whether anyone's listening or not. i guess that's always been my thing — whether i want to or not, i'm going to do the things whether anyone gives a damn about them or not.
still plugging along...i guess
i'm not great at titles.
i'm trying to keep going with this october (now february) album project. i decided i needed to do...something with it today, since i haven't really produced anything today, and had a very busy work day that kept me away from thinking about anything else really. so i did a brief sketch.
someone else's song
i've been trying to listen to more albums the past couple of days (which is ironic, since i haven't even tried to produce / release an album since i started releasing music on streaming services in 2021). of course, the "album" i chose to listen to that prompted this post was a split EP featuring Apes of the State and Sister Wife Sex Strike (because i really needed some trans, anarchist, folk punk to listen to).
i've got a meeting in eight minutes
i've got a meeting in eight minutes. i've been going since about 7am. a bit before if you count rolling out of bed to take a shower. my kids have been on a kick of getting up early lately, which is kinda great on one level but i also enjoy being warm and cozy in bed.
revisiting marai - ok, reijishiin (or however i spelled it), part 4
There's been a little voice in the back of my head for the pst few days / week or so urging me to get back to work on this story, but also i'm not really feeling it in this moment right now, so — i'm going to share another part in the hopes that it spurs me to write about what's next. i have somewhat of an idea, and it involves (SPOILER ALERT) the main character and someone who — as of the part i'm posting below — hasn't been introduced yet, posing as serving staff on a cruise ship in order to sneak their way past immigration officials to find her daughter. then some more shit happens, i haven't really fully thought through beyond that.
i'm tired, but i'll keep going anyway
i'm tired of always striving. of having to meet other's expectations, while having no expectations of anyone else.
i feel like i'm not alone in this feeling. though it feels very isolating. i keep reading about how isolated people feel right now, and in some ways i think we all make it worse sometimes. but also there is this feeling of needing to protect ourselves.
doing the thing anyway
ok, so it's a double post day.
but also, i'm determined not to let a thing like "audience" affect my process or what i'm doing. i'm not going to give into the pervasive capitalist pressure to moderate my speech or change what i'm doing to be more commercially viable, or more popular.
if you're too fragile to deal with your internalized white supremacy, please go away
i take a stand against antisemitism and racism, and i lose community.
and if i was not immediately upfront about the antisemitism, it's because — as the target of said antisemitic behavior — i did not feel comfortable calling it out to the people committing it.
yeah ok but why
it's one thing to release a song, a playlist of inspirations, blog about the process, and all of that...
...but why? when you take away the commercial impulse to make money, to promote a product, to engage your network and all of that bullshit, what is the point of it? i understand why there is a never-ending debate among artists on whether they should share their inspirations or interpretations of their own works, because i tend to believe that art is up to the interpretation of the observer, independent of the artist's initial intent.