hi, i’m nuri. this is where i’ll post things i’m working on (when i remember to) — whether its music, or musings, or fiction, or video, or live events, or whatever comes next. if you want to follow along, it’s free, or you can choose to pay. you don’t get anything extra if you pay, but you help support me to keep doing the things, and i appreciate it. 💕
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Recent posts
fucking taxes
i haven't had the energy to / prioritized posting here lately (i feel like i say this a lot) .
i'm sitting with my anxiety tonight. i know if i go to bed now, i will lie awake and stare at the ceiling with my thoughts spinning from subject to subject.
booking is fun (not really at all, i hate it)
as i've mentioned in previous posts, i haven't performed publicly in some time.
the last time was for a holiday benefit show in 2015 (we use the euphemism "holiday" to refer to the dominant Christian "holiday season" — but it was really a Christmas concert). we played one song. written expressly for the "holidays."
whoops
i meant to share my last post today. that is, i was trying to be good to future me and schedule something ahead so i wouldn't have to think of it — in the hopes that i could keep staying ahead of it so i don't wind up with big gaps like recently (to be fair to me, seemingly losing my entire audience was a bit demotivating, but also, this isn't about audience so — whatevs), but then i hit the wrong button and published it immediately.
the abandoned (ish) uke project
i have a performance coming up.
i don't have a link to share with details yet, but i will certainly post here when i do.
this will be my first time performing in public —in real life — in nearly nine years.
more on marai (finally), part 5
hiya! now that i have zero paid subscribers, i have even less idea who's been visiting and reading this blog / process / shitshow. over the weekend i was thinking how i really would like to get back to this story, so i figured i'd continue sharing it in the hopes it would spur me to keep going. if you want to see the whole thing i've shared so far, you can visit this collection.
i was gold
I decided to type this on my phone because reasons, and I was gonna make the title "I was good," but I kind of liked the weird autocorrect.
Maybe that will lead somewhere, maybe not.
But I *was* good. I practiced. I added on to a song snippet so I may even have some new new material for the first show I've played in nearly a decade.
today was a lot. it’s been a lot a lot
today was a lot. it’s been a lot a lot lately. today i had to (as usual on a workday) get my kids up and ready for school, and out the door (juuuust) in time for the bus. i had a staff meeting, and then a doctor’s appointment — i forgot to eat.
spring springy spring
i've definitely been less religious (pardon the term) about posting in here lately.
for one thing, i got very busy with work stuff. we had our big spring concert this past weekend, and that's honestly something i'd rather not talk about right now.
been a minute
it's been a minute since i posted here. sorry? (aside: i'm remembering the first time i heard the expression "been a minute" and i was so deeply confused when the person said it cuz i was like "it's been months, what *are* you talking about?!")
unworthy
I was planning on writing earlier today. I had the urge. As soon as i got it, i saw some things that triggered deep feelings of unworthiness. Like, everyone else writes, and puts more effort into it, more craft, more time, and is more deserving — and why do i bother, what do i have that’s worth saying. I’m just a trash person with trash opinions.
liberation now
I’m probably not the first to say this, and i don’t claim this as original thought, but: to realize a liberated future, we must live a liberated now.
There is a fair amount of privilege behind even being able to conceive of such a thing, and, for survival’s sake, our ability to hew to this mantra varies wildly from individual to individual.
i started writing a thing today
i started writing a thing today. it's largely autobiographical, it seems. at least so far. i don't know if i'm going to finish it, but it started from my spinning thoughts as i was going to sleep last night. i had this urge to try to explain all the places i'm coming from. all the things i've experienced that led me to where i am now, what i believe now, what i'm working for now.
getting people together
It’s again been a few days since i last posted. I haven’t made progress on the album project i was hoping to accomplish by the end of February. I did give myself the fallback of finishing it my the end of Adar II, so i suppose that actually gives me until the end of March as it is. Which is good, i could use the extra time.
documenting the mundane
I haven’t posted in a few days. I’ve been busy / didn’t have anything i really wanted to say. I did want to lean into the idea of documenting the mundane, instead of censoring myself and attempting to focus only on the things i think will be interesting to other people to hear about.
on a lighter note
due to a common typographical error of mine, i appear to have discovered a new subatomic particle…
do i have something to say?
on one level, i didn’t do much yesterday.
i didn’t leave the house.
i didn’t do laundry.
saturday morning
it’s a saturday, and i just got home. It’s about two in the afternoon, and in about two hours i’ve got to go back out again. I got up early today — my kids both got up even earlier. We showered. I fed them gluten free cinnamon roll coffee cake that i made yesterday evening for breakfast. There were no complaints.
some more boops
i see people are still visiting here. i don't know who you are, but "hi!"
for some reason keyboards / synths seem to be what's coming out recently. i don't know if any of this will turn into a final project, but i guess that's why i share the process, as messy as it is.
greensleeves revisited / the high road
i know there's almost no one watching / listening at this point, but i've never really been sharing for an audience, i suppose. this stuff is going to get shared / put out there whether anyone's listening or not. i guess that's always been my thing — whether i want to or not, i'm going to do the things whether anyone gives a damn about them or not.
still plugging along...i guess
i'm not great at titles.
i'm trying to keep going with this october (now february) album project. i decided i needed to do...something with it today, since i haven't really produced anything today, and had a very busy work day that kept me away from thinking about anything else really. so i did a brief sketch.