hi, i’m nuri. this is where i’ll post things i’m working on (when i remember to) — whether its music, or musings, or fiction, or video, or live events, or whatever comes next. if you want to follow along, it’s free, or you can choose to pay. you don’t get anything extra if you pay, but you help support me to keep doing the things, and i appreciate it. 💕
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Recent posts
leaning in to being scatterbrained
there's been a lot more activity here lately than i had been creating before. partly, i suppose, because i feel like i need an outlet for all of the various things i'm doing, and i really am committed to staying clear of (most forms of) social media.
i think the entire nature of social media, and digital interactions in general, is dehumanizing. what i've come to call the "people-in-cars" phenomena.
oh, apparently I can post video now?
So...I got covid finally. Made it through four years of pandemic only to get it now. I'm miserable, but i'm sure i'll be fine.
I was basically incapacitated on Saturday.
Aside from that, i find myself occasionally googling symptoms i hadn't expected like…
i hit publish (again)
this is one of those cases where, "if money was no object" things might go very differently. i could keep on tweaking "watch it!" and i might be happier with it eventually, i might not.
starting on marai (part 1)
I was going to share another stream-of-consciousness journal kind of piece here today, but i'm a little tired of it. The point i was going to make anyway is that i should just do the art i want to do, and i suppose part of the reason why i want to share unfinished works / works in progress here, is to drive me to finish them.
processing some shit
What if i’m the problem?
I keep seeing all these red flags around me.
I’m not good at just saying shit straight. It’s had bad consequences for me in the past.
Listening back
I'm in this stage, again, of producing a song where it's nearly done. I'm listening back, over and over again — on my computer, on speakers, in my car, in earbuds — on every device I can get my hands on to see if it holds up.
This is where my production playlist comes in, too — I listen to the song against other tracks, the beginning and the end, the middle — in one order, than another.
i'm trying to post without listening
if i actually listened back to these before putting them up — i might now share them at all 🤣
consider that my voucher on quality 🫠
i'm literally going through, in the order i drafted these songs. we're almost to the "most complete" one (that's number 5) — but even that one needs a lot of work still.
Shouting into the wind
So, in the spirit of what I posted yesterday, here’s a bit of an update on this past season, before I start sharing all kinds of random crap in the hopes of jollying myself out of this depression / actually getting back to the things i want to do.
Spotify stealing from small artists to pay big ones
Spotify is hoping you won't notice, but they've just announced a new policy to steal from small artists to pay bigger ones. Buried in their recent Spotify for Artists newsletter was this notice that "Starting in early 2024, tracks must have reached at least 1,000 streams in the previous 12 months in order to generate recorded royalties."
an update. why? because capitalism.
i checked my bank account balance this morning. it's something i typically avoid doing for a while, and then force myself to. it was less than i thought it was — which is fun because i have a week until my next paycheck, groceries to buy, and a kid's birthday coming up (thankfully, i already have some presents bought). i look at the handy digest of mail coming today and find tolls and tax bills, numbering way more than the balance of what's in. my account, and try not to think of the already-late mortgage payment i have to make next week as soon as i get paid again, and how that will eat about half my paycheck — the other half going to pay off debts i incurred in the year after separating from my ex.
feels a little silly
so, with the collapse of buttercup (or presumed collapse, i should say — maybe it's continued without me?) i've been drifting, community-less, for nearly two weeks now. i feel isolated. i feel silly even writing here, for an audience of one-ish.
It's over, and no one sang at all
It seems that project buttercup is over.
Ch-ch-ch-changes...
I've been thinking of making some changes here. Nothing drastic — but more of an addition, to reflect the full breadth of the work I've been doing.
project buttercup
i haven't been the most active here.
i apologize for that. folks are paying money, i suppose they expect a service 😅
i was careful not to promise anything when i started this patreon because i very much want to avoid my art becoming "work."
To Tok or Not to Tok
Since I'm pretty sure every one of y'all came here from TikTok, it seems relevant to post this here 😅
You may have noticed I've been taking an extended break from TikTok.
At first it was a mental health break. I had some unpleasant interactions on the app, and in general it was just stressing me out, so I stepped away for a bit.
To cover or not to cover
Hey all,
I've not been great about posting here lately. Sorry 😔
2023 has been rough so far. I can't, or don't want to, pinpoint anything particular, but let's just say the vibe's been off.
I'm so damn tired.
I've been feeling uninspired and flat recently.
I feel like I'm failing at everything. At being a partner. At being a parent. At being an artist.
I feel like I unwittingly became an activist, and I feel like I'm failing at that too.
It's been a month 😳
Hi all,
I haven't written here in about a month, it seems — and I've had this prompt "It's been a month 😳" open in a tab on my computer for at least a week. I'm not really procrastinating — it's just that every time i start to write it all feels like too much to share. At the same time it all seems kind of trivial.
Overbooked 😳
I've been in meetings since 10am.
My first was in-person and over coffee, and we talked about art and intersectionality and trying to do good work in a community that's fighting against that work for no other reason than it's different, it's a change, it's new. I had a lot of fun and it was an encounter that filled me with hope and optimism.
Behind the scenes
I had promised to get into more behind the scenes type of material, and the thing there is I need to remember to capture it when i'm creating new things 😅